Candid Confession
Relatives, today marks a milestone for me. Like many, I succumbed to a substantial weight gain throughout and over the COVID 19 Pandemic. Ashamedly, in April of this year (2022) I was heavier than I have ever been in my 71 year earth walk. I began a weight loss regimen that same month (April), and as of today, I have lost 50 pounds. While I still have 20 pounds more to lose to reach my desired goal, this is substantial progress.
I write these words not to brag or boast; not to draw attention to myself, or receive congratulatory accolades or praise. Rather, I write to inspire you and others in your pursuit of your goals, dreams, and desires.
A dearest friend recently shared with me a motivation formula she shared with her two boys when they were younger. She spoke of this as the Four “D’s”: Desire, Determination, Discipline, and Dedication.
I have amended that to include two more “D’s”. My formula, if you will, is as follows:
DESIRE
DECISION
DETERMINATION
DISCIPLINE
DEDICATION
DOING
Anyone can have a desire. One may desire to change this, another that. One man desires to be a better husband, father, another woman, a better wife, or mother. One may wish to eliminate a bad habit, another achieve a certain goal or ambition. We can fill the room with desire, but until we make a decision, the desire is nothing more than a dream or an idea. Long before I began my weight loss journey, I had a desire - a desire to lose weight, a desire to return to my ideal weight, a desire to get back into clothing that no longer fit, a desire to feel better about myself, a desire to be well again, a desire to stop wearing baggy clothes….
Yet, until I made the decision to engage and proceed, the desire, again, was nothing more than a dream or an idea, and a rather frustrating one at that. Once you say “Yes” to something, be it your desire, your dream, or the Universe, you will be amazed a how quickly the resources of Source, Spirit, the Universe will align and provide for the fulfillment and manifestation of your desire. When you make a decision to do, you will be amazed at the power you unleash to support you along your fulfillment journey. It is as though you leave the darkness and chaos of confusion and conflict, and move to the light realm of clarity and cooperation.
A decision to do, alone, is not enough. One must find the determination to consistently act on the decision and behave, live in a manner that is in alignment and in integrity with your decision. I had the desire to lose weight; I made the decision to do so, and yet to continue to remain sedentary, and consume counterproductive food (sugars, high carb, junk, and processed foods) but until I moved to the mental, physical, and spiritual presence of being determined to succeed, again, there was no momentum, no engagement, and no weight loss would or could ever be successful.
I had the desire. I made the decision, and yet, had I continued succumbing to the seductive pleasures of Lay’s potato chips, M&M’s (my favorite are the chocolate covered almonds!), ice cream, pasta, etc, I would not have arrived at the milestone I achieved today. I had to be determined to succeed, no matter the temptation, no matter the sacrifice, no matter the cost. Webster’s dictionary offers the following definition of “Determination” - “a firm or fixed intention to achieve a desired end; the act of deciding definitely ad firmly”. Your desire informs, shapes, and defines your intention. Your decision to act on that desire, intention, propels you to a whole other and higher level consciousness and potential and possibility. Your determination to act is that which empowers and unleashes the creative process and power of your mind, consciousness, and the Universe which will all agree and conspire to propel and equip you along your journey.
And yet, desire, decision, and determination again, and alone, are not sufficiently efficacious to arrive at success. Discipline is essential. As I write these words, I am visiting in the home of a friend. In the kitchen are all the reasons I got to where I was in April in the first place: potato chips, ice cream, breads, pasta, vanilla wafers, sugary cereal, and a host of other “foods” that have a voice. They keep calling me! “Come! Grab some! A little won’t hurt. All things in moderation”. An old commercial for Lay’s chips had the slogan, “Bet you can’t eat just one!” Guess what? They were correct! I can’t. In a matter of a good picture show, the whole bag could be gone, and God forbid the M&Ms. It would be so easy, so decadent, to indulge; I can not, however. Why? I am determined to attain the success, manifestation, and fulfillment of my desired intention - to lose weight. Therefore, I must be determined to do the things I know (scientifically and nutritionally) and resist and refuse those things which are counterproductive to that desired success and achievement. This, then, has to do with discipline. Admittedly, that’s the hard part!
It is my conviction that you, one, can have anything and everything you intend and desire and deserve, in a good way, or all the reasons why you think you can not or do not. You can have events or excuses, results or reasons why not, but you can not have both. Discipline is the self-regulation to say “Yes” to the things that support your desired intention and say “No” to the things that do not. Theoretically, it's just that simple, and you alone have the power to determine the overall success or failure based on the depth and determination of your desire, intention, consistent with your self-discipline to do whatever is necessary to achieve and arrive. The “sin” of Lay’s potato chips lies not in the bag, but in the hand that holds it. If I lacked the discipline, specifically self-discipline to say “No”, again, I would never arrived at the empowering milestone I achieved today.
While it takes courage and confidence, honor and respect yourself to walk away from anyone or anything that does not nor no longer serves you, grows you, nurtures your soul, and influences your happiness in a good way. And that, for me, includes the (metaphorically) Lay’s potato chips. You get the point. No one has power over you unless you give or allow it. Your power lies within you, and you get to decide what to do with it, where to place it, where to engage it, and that all is consistent with the power you give to yourself as regards discipline.
And yet, again, desire, decision, determination, discipline alone is not enough support and secure the success of your intentions; that requires dedication. Dedication: self-sacrificing devotion and loyalty. When I approach a “thing” with devotion, I am fiercely loyal to that end. I will put aside my ego and self-centeredness and wholeheartedly devote myself, my actions, my behavior, my thoughts, my prayer, with no exceptions, no compromise, no wavering to the unwavering accomplishment and success of my desired intention. No, it is not an easy thing to do, and giving in to the temptation of more momentary pleasure is clearly an easier task and path. You WILL achieve that which you determine to do, and that requires devotion to the desired intention. Otherwise, I, you, will continue to find frustration and angst as regards your desired intention.
Finally, we must engage in the “Doing”. This is the day in, day out practice of the preceding sux “D’s”. Nothing happens until something happens. Nothing begins until something begins. Nothing change until something changes. This is all about the “Doing”. If it is knowledge you lack, educate yourself. Learn what must be done in order to be successful, then DO those things. It has been said that the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. That has to do with the “do”, or “doing”. Again that lies within your power to choose your own destiny, outcome, or life you intend to live.
I had the desire to lose weight. I made the decision to do so. I was (and continue to be) determined to succeed. I made the dedication to accomplish my desired results. I was devoted to the effort, but, until I did something to achieve that, all of those other factors meant nothing, and alone, were not efficacious without taking the first step of the doing, the latter of which can apply to any goal, desire, intention you may be considering.
I have often said, we do not need another book to read, another class to take, another workshop to attend, another certificate to attain. No. We pretty well know what we need to know. We have all the information we need to succeed in life (and if you do not, do whatever it takes to discover that). What we need now is activity, engagement, first (and subsequent) steps, doing.
When you find yourself, as did I, sick and tired of being sick and tired, and form a desire to change, consider and think about where you are in regards to the six “D’s”: Desire, Decision, Determination, Dedication, and Discipline. Do you have a desire for whatever is your intention? Do you have the determination to succeed at that, no matter what? Are you dedicated to that end result? Are you disciplined enough to govern and regulate your behavior in a manner that is congruent with your desire, intention? And, are you actively doing the things you know will make you successful?
Never forget, Creator invites us to dance in the Garden of Magic and Miracles, and this includes the fulfillment of all of your (good) desires and intentions. The practice of the six un “D’s” is the key to unlock the gate of that Garden. In all things, we must , show up, be prepared, be available, dream and pray big! These gems of wisdom will encourage and empower that dance, and that Garden is an amazing place to dance.
A’ȟo. O Mítákuye Oyásíŋ 🦅